Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Life Lately...

My, my, my...where has the time gone?!?!?  I have been a super lazy blogger because my life hasn't been all that great!  We have had some tough times this summer, but God is getting us through.  So here I am today to start blogging again, hopefully!  My sister, Jessica over at Can't be this fat forever and I have started Whole30.  We are on Day 8 and feeling amazing!!  This new "lifestyle" change hasn't been too bad.  There's no dairy, no sugar, no processed foods, no grains, no beans, and no soy...I will say that giving up cheese is something I have never done.  And I am doing okay.  We can't weigh for 30 days, but I think I am already losing.  And I am feeling pretty good!!  Jess asked me to start blogging again, so here I go! 

I will start off with what's been up with my little ol' hubby and me!  At the end of last summer, I started the Clomid Challenge (I have PCOS and after being off the pill almost a year, we hadn't gotten pregnant) and after going through all the blood work and tests, 5 months is all I could handle.  So in January, we decided that would be our last month to take my Clomid and we would just see how things went.  I also saw an Endo Dr and started Metformin at the end of January.  February came and so did Aunt Flo....and we were devastated, but still had our plan!  So we decided to just "enjoy" our marriage and let it happen when it happened, unless we went 6 months without a pregnancy, then onto new doctors.  Well what do you know, April 29th, our lives were changed.  Jess had begged asked me to go home at lunch and take a test, mind you I wasn't even "late" according to my crazy cycle.  Well, since Nathan was home I decided to just take it.  Thinking, it's going to be negative and I will start tomorrow (that was what always happened), but what do you know...TWO lines came up.  I yelled for Nathan to come and see, we were both in shock with the biggest deer in headlight eyes possible, and were thinking "What have we done?!?!"  We were overjoyed with emotion and so happy that God had blessed us with a baby, we were FINALLY going to be the parents we were praying to be.  We called our parents and siblings right away, mainly because I can't hold that stuff in.  My mom and sisters are my very best friends, we had to tell.  Everyone was so excited and so were we. 

Everything was going good, I was getting more and more nauseated everyday.  That's always a good sign.  I had done the calculations and we were due January 1.  Well, I am an accountant and of course wanted to have the baby at the end of December, I mean, hello full year of tax deduction.  We went in for our first ultrasound May 19th and I was 7 weeks.  We were so excited to see our little baby.  When the tech started during the measurements, she said it looks like you are 6w2d.  My heart sank alittle and I looked over at Nathan.  We took our pictures of our little bean and were overjoyed.  We sent the pic out to family to let them know, there was only ONE!  So we met with our dr and she said she was comfortable with everything because she knew my ovulation schedule from the Clomid and we were to come back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound.  Well that day didn't come.  I had started bleeding the Friday before Memorial Day and I was put on bedrest until my appt on Monday, but God had different plans.  We ended up in the ER on Sunday morning and we had lost our precious baby.  It still breaks my heart that this happened to us, but I know that GOD has bigger and better plans for us.  It is very hard to write better, because how much better can you get than bringing a child into the world with the man you love the most.  Even though I didn't get to hold my baby, I am waiting for the day that I see her in Heaven. 

June 1st was the hardest day of my life.  That miscarriage was painful physically and emotionally, but we are doing much better.  I love my husband with all my heart and I am so blessed that I have such a caring and supportive man to stand by my side in good times and bad.  He is my rock and I love him more today than I ever have.  We have been able to start trying again this month and we are continuing to pray for what God has in store for us.  It is def bigger than we can imagine. 

I am so sorry if you were expecting something different, but being able to talk about it has gotten me through it.  I truly believe that God wants me to share my experience to let others know, we aren't alone.    Feel free to email me any questions you may have. 

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I love you and am so glad that you shared your story! I love you sister and know that God has a perfect plan!